My Cousin Had A Baby and Then...

Y’all know I do my best to keep these brief, but per usual… don’t hold me to it.

Mkay? Mkay.

It’s extremely rare to connect immediately with the grandmother.
Yes, the mama of the mama.
But it happened.

It was around October 2024 when I got a call from her.
She said something like, “My daughter’s looking for a doula, and I just wanted to do a little footwork for her.”

I heard what she said, but I also heard home.
That unmistakable New Orleans warmth came through her voice, and I knew right then: they’d be family.

We talked for a bit and unexpectedly connected through grief.
There were eerie parallels between her loss and mine, but even if there hadn’t been, I still would’ve felt like I was talking to my auntie, calling to tell me my cousin was having a baby and wanted me to come do my doula thing.

😂😂😂 If you know folks from New Orleans, you know exactly how that would’ve been said.

A few hours later, I talked to “my cousin.”
We were on the phone for over two hours, locked in, and began the journey.

Her pregnancy was smooth. Minor hiccups, sure, but nothing dramatic. We had a lot of long convos and belly laughs.

Fast forward to labor day.
She texted me around 7:15 a.m.; contractions were picking up.
Nearly two weeks past her due date, but no worries. We roll with it.

She let me know they were heading to the hospital. I figured the switch had flipped and we’d be in and out.

Turns out we were in for a 30+ hour ride.

And believe it or not, that’s still not what this post is about.

Yes, I was there.
Yes, I witnessed her strength.
Yes, she welcomed a beautiful baby into the world.
But nothing and I do mean nothing, could’ve prepared me for what came next.

I left the hospital after the birth, heart full and running on fumes.

Then, just before 2 a.m. on Mother’s Day, 9 days later I got a call from her mom.
My auntie.
I thought maybe it was a pocket dial… until it kept ringing.

I answered.
Her voice , usually strong, steady , was full of fear.
She said my cousin was bleeding heavily.
They were taking her back to the hospital.
And while that was happening, she was also asking me what kind of formula to give the baby.

She was still in action mode while her own baby was being rushed in for emergency care.

It didn’t hit me until later that she was calling while it was all unfolding in real time.

Our postpartum visit, originally planned for shortly after Mother’s Day, didn’t happen.
It was postponed.
She was recovering from another surgery. One that changed everything.

I had planned to visit her in the hospital, but if I’m being honest… I couldn’t do it.
I wasn’t ready.

Every time I tried to sit with it, to process it, to pray, to reach out, the tears would come.
And the truth is… births didn’t stop. Life kept moving.
But I couldn’t.
Not really.

I kept asking myself if I missed something during those 30 hours.
If there was a moment , a word, a sigh, a signal, that I somehow overlooked.
Even though I was pouring from a near-empty cup, I still wondered if I could’ve done more.

This work.
This love.
This kind of connection.

it’s not a job.
It’s not just a contract.
It’s real attachment.

And when my families hurt, I do, too.

To My Auntie and My Uncle:
Auntie, I’m so glad you called that day. I’m even more grateful that we connected and that you trusted me with your baby. Thank you for giving me that immediate piece of home I didn’t even know I needed in that moment. I’m ALWAYS just a phone call away. ⚜️

Unc, thank you for the laughs and for the reminder (even if unintentional) that pure love is unconditional. As long as I have breath in my body and the will to keep going, I’ll keep showing up and pushing through. You reminded me of that. ⚜️

To My Cousin and Her Honey:
Y’all are so dope. Easily my favorite cousins! 😂
Watching y’all love on each other reminded me of crawfish and a pineapple Big Shot ;y’all just go together. ⚜️

Thank you for letting me in, for trusting me with your journey. This isn’t the end. Y’all are stuck with me. 😂
I love y’all real big, more than you could ever imagine.

Thank you for the laughs, the trust, the love. I’m always here, however you need me, in whatever way I can show up.

Luh yaw!
—Aeryka 💜🤍🩵⚜️