The End Of The Rope

I think I can keep this brief but don’t hold me to that.

It was almost midnight when she called me. I was leaving the gym and didn’t have time to go home and shower so I just drove to her house. I asses the situation, get her comfortable and make my way to the shower because I had to gather that together. 😂

Once I’m done, I get her out of the bed and we labor at home for a few hours. She feels like it’s time to head to the hospital so we do. It’s a quick drive; less than 10 minutes. We get there, she’s checking in and gets sent to an L&D room. I join her and her husband in the room and we labor a bit more. She hadn’t made much progress In the dilation and effacement unfortunately but her contractions seemed…different.

It was mild dehydration so we worked around the bag of fluid. This position, that position, this way, that way. Doing all we can to get this baby down and out. Baby is low, contractions are definitely happening but that cervix was unfavorable and was not budging in the least bit.

Eventually, the cervix budges after a bit of Pitocin and the doctor comes in and says that she’s maybe 3cm but 100% effaced.

This doesn’t make a lick of sense to me but I’m rolling with it. Logically, she should be further dilated if she’s 100% effaced but again, I’m rolling with it and I created a circuit to get the baby out of there.

Over 24 hours in, still doing all the things; this position, that position, this way and that way and still made very little progress in dilation.

Hour 36 and my client decides that she wants the pain to end; she gets an epidural. She felt like she caved because her plan was an unmedicated vaginal birth. I remind her that it’s okay to pivot and she could still have a vaginal birth. The epidural is administered, her catheter inserted and she was able to rest but only for so long. The catheter is hurting her terribly.

She lets her nurse know and she comes to adjust it and that was painful and provided very little relief. She comes back some time later and removes the original catheter and places another and it’s even more uncomfortable. The epidural provided relief until she had contractions. She didn’t know that she was having them until she felt the catheter. Big problem. My guts says that it was misplaced and we later find out that it indeed was misplaced.

40+ hours in and the catheter discomfort is so unbearable that she just wants the baby out by any means. We had a conversation about a caesarean as she was exhausted and ready for it to be over. She’d reached the end of her rope.

I went to the bathroom for less than five minutes and came out to the medical staff prepping her for surgery. She didn’t tell me that she was going to tell them so swiftly. 😂 She goes back to the OR, caesarean is done, placenta received, the day is finished but something in my spirit was still…bothered.

I wondered how she was 100% effaced and still didn’t progress past 3cm in 40+ hours. We debriefed later and I wondered if the operating OB mentioned anything about her progress. Turns out she was never 100% effaced and maybe about 4cm and her cervix was swollen. The first doctor who checked her didn’t give accurate measurements. They never are really accurate anyway but this was way off.

That was the biggest blow. To know that she was blatantly mislead. Surgery could’ve been avoided if the doctor had just been honest about her findings.

My client also said that the pain from the catheter was immediately over once the baby was out. Wild, right?!

The point of it all is that sometimes in labor you reach the end of your rope. Sometimes reaching the end means you have to pivot and adjust how you reach your goal. Most times you can’t control it but you can always control how you respond to It.

To my homegirl: You have been an absolute light in my world! You are the epitome of doing what you must to achieve the goal. I’m so proud of you handling your labor and birth with so much grace and poise. You’ve inspired me in many ways and I appreciate how you’ve always been positive. Keep shining, keep growing, keep showing up with your whole, authentic, beautiful self. I’m proud of how you’ve taken motherhood in stride.

-Aeryka ✌🏾💜